Cultural Relevantism

way to spend an afternoon

2010-12-07T15:14:00.002-05:00

1) put on some funky music. (perhaps some prince...)

2) open up ron winter's drum kit.

3) play along.

4) pick another song and repeat. (feel free to play with your genres, and play along with the carpenter's, liz phair, or joey defrancesco.)

amazing webapp

2010-12-04T10:54:00.001-05:00

want an amazing, sharable, free webapp for posting ideas on a bulletin board with sticky notes?

me too.

before

2010-12-03T10:53:00.001-05:00

remember to look both ways before crossing the street, boys.

taking a deep breath

2010-12-01T10:35:00.004-05:00

i came into work today with what feels like way too much on my plate to comfortably get done. i took a few extra days off around thanksgiving, then we had a sick little boy at home so i was out some for that. anyway, after making my todo list and prioritizing emails, i snuck a peek at my new favorite blog, swiss miss, she had a link to the most amazing melody maker. you have to try this out. (and get the iphone app too...)

after creating some relaxing, beautiful music, i still have too much to get done, but am a lot less worried about it.

dinner and a show

2010-11-17T10:56:00.001-05:00

no, YOU better watch out!

2010-11-16T11:51:00.001-05:00

so, where does blogging fall?

2010-11-15T09:46:00.002-05:00

word

2010-11-12T20:40:00.000-05:00

best headline ever?

2010-11-11T20:25:00.001-05:00

Porpoises Rescue Dick Van Dyke

shucks, i really can't improve on this.

age brings wisdom

2010-11-01T14:16:00.001-04:00

do not want

2010-10-25T11:28:00.002-04:00

nothing says "glory to the newborn king" quite like an ornament for those who can't get enough of their emotionally stunted, poorly written adolescent fantasies this holiday season

if only it were this simple

2010-10-18T09:46:00.002-04:00

raise your hand if you tried this as a kid...

it gets better

2010-10-15T09:14:00.001-04:00

if only it worked this way...

2010-10-14T08:22:00.001-04:00

not mine. but funny and true.

through the magic of technology

2010-10-07T20:25:00.002-04:00

oldie but a goodie

2010-10-07T09:40:00.002-04:00

sigh...

2010-10-01T12:05:00.001-04:00

1) want

2) want to be here

3) NOW

also true

2010-09-30T08:58:00.001-04:00

ahem... true

2010-09-29T09:05:00.002-04:00

finally...

2010-09-25T10:51:00.000-04:00

an easy way to remember their origin stories.

just reposting, that's all

2010-09-24T10:48:00.001-04:00

cruise ship in rough seas.

2010-09-08T11:51:00.001-04:00

huh, they don't show this on the Princess Cruise Lines ads.

BEST. SHOW. EVER.

2010-08-31T10:06:00.002-04:00

okay, not really, but i am not sure who sucks more, the band or the fans. (but i sure do love the laughter of the person taking the video when the dive goes poorly..)

but now he's gone green

2010-08-26T20:21:00.002-04:00

this video was made by Bonner Scholars at Morehouse College. awesome...

it's like a real pet living on my computer

2010-08-19T10:43:00.000-04:00

bad poetry day

2010-08-18T13:47:00.002-04:00

so, today is National Bad Poetry Day. in honor of such i sent the following into my local radio station.

Roses are red

Violets are pretty

I like to write poetry

But most of it's not very good

Roses are red

Ivy will climb

What's wrong with my poetry?

None of the words sound the same

they both got read on the air.

i miss him too

2010-08-18T10:59:00.001-04:00

going to school

2010-08-17T11:03:00.001-04:00

new chapter

2010-08-16T15:56:00.002-04:00

today was miles' 1st day at preschool and the start was a bittersweet experience. we walked into the preschool and he immediately ran off to meet new people, and sat down at a table with other children. he looked back for us a few times but quickly became engrossed in conversation with other 2 & 3 year old children. he's such a social kid we knew he'd be fine, and while a goodbye hug & kiss would have made us feel better, instead we quietly sneaked out the door and allowed him to meet his new friends and start this new chapter.

no phone calls or emergency contact numbers accessed so far, so i guess it is going well.

(this is the point where i would crack some joke about how quickly they grow up, but it's really true, and really not that funny today.)

and the economy continues to lag...

2010-08-15T15:51:00.000-04:00

makes it all the more complex to work in an office that is supposed to assist students in finding their way after college.

sweet music

2010-08-05T13:47:00.001-04:00

"Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed, the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite sex couples are superior to same-sex couples. Because California has no interest in discriminating against gay men and lesbians, and because Proposition 8 prevents California from fulfilling its constitutional obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis, the court concludes that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional."

Judge Vaughn Walker

new look

2010-07-28T12:54:00.003-04:00

i started blogging when it was still complex enough to keep most people out. at that time the templates were boring. well, without going all Myspace, i thought a little update might be nice.

Mila's Daydreams

2010-07-27T11:17:00.003-04:00

now THIS is a good time. of course, i would probably like ella to reenact my favorite scenes from star wars or spiderman comics... something geeky like that. (not that anything will happen here, but suggestions are welcomed in the comment section)

Welcome Ella--updated

2010-07-02T15:49:00.004-04:00

After an arduous and, at times scary labor, Ella Elizabeth joined us in the delivery room. She came out "sunny side up", as opposed to facing down, and had the umbilical cord wrapped round her neck. But, with the help of two doctors, a passel of nurses, an extra anesthesiologist and size 31 forceps, our little girl was born @ 6:36p. She weighed 7lb 6oz and was 19.125" long. Since her first feeding she has latched on like a champ and eats vigorously.

Miles met his baby sister earlier today. While he was a little curious, he was much more interested in the buttons on Mommy's bed than the small pink thing in Mommy's arms.

We head home tomorrow to a beautiful life that is new all over again.

UPDATE--Cruise on over to my Flickr page see her beautiful photos.

so it begins again

2010-07-01T08:51:00.002-04:00

we are at the hospital awaiting the arrival of miles' sibling. dana is in the bed, wired to all the machines. and we wait...

thinking of version 3.0

2010-06-17T09:13:00.002-04:00

because i am SO EXCITED for the release of Toy Story 3, and because this has the ring of truth...

great dad award #47

2010-06-15T10:54:00.001-04:00

miles and i were leaving the house. i went through the door 1st and he was right behind me. my shoulder bag caught on the doorknob, and as the door started to close i heard a loud thunk. looking back, all i saw was the bottom of one of miles' shoes pointing up in the air and his little arm bouncing on the carpet. i figured out that when my bag started closing the door, he ran head first into the side of it and it pitched him right back on his ass. worriedly, i asked if he was okay. picking himself up and shaking his head, he rubbed his forehead, looked up at me and said, "yup."

NOW i know why children need to be so resilient, and why mine needs to be doubly so.

why one should wear a seatbelt

2010-06-14T10:52:00.000-04:00

what all the toddlers in my life are getting this year for xmas

2010-06-03T14:08:00.001-04:00

wait... perhaps this is a better hannukah present?

amen ian

2010-06-02T13:31:00.001-04:00

Gettin' cards and letters from people I don't even know

2010-05-26T09:25:00.000-04:00

while sitting in my local chinese buffet, eating way too much deep fried, over sauced chicken, i heard the oriental muzak version of glen campbell's Rhinestone Cowboy come tinkling out of the speakers.

it was stuck in my head all afternoon.

cop v. firefighter, part 2

2010-05-25T09:19:00.000-04:00

the rest of the story is found here. this is a bit more pressing that one might imagine as we had a run in the winter to a single vehicle accident at which we encountered a police detective who was first on scene. why he was there we didn't know, but there were a few tense moments as we pulled up, had him move his personal vehicle away from the accident scene, and begin doing our best to determine the safety of the situation. he tried a number of times to assert the primacy of his role, that this was his accident scene and that he was in charge. after a heated exchange with one of our fire department officers, he backed down, but it wouldn't have been much of a stretch to see handcuffs come out.

it makes sense that emotions run high in instances like these, but i wasn't quite prepared for egos to be inflated as well.

who's in charge here?

2010-05-24T09:17:00.001-04:00

i watch the news differently now that i spend time with my local volunteer fire department. coming next time, the rest of the story.

want, no... NEED

2010-05-03T14:30:00.002-04:00

hope they have these in big boy sizes, cuz i look REAL good in green.

eerg... ahem... cough

2010-04-27T13:49:00.001-04:00

what does it mean if i think this is funny. and when i say funny, i mean crazy hilarious?

a real time saver, this one

2010-04-12T13:19:00.002-04:00

from my new favorite comic.

what's next, getting pre-dumped emails from people we haven't met? on the plus side it will free up a lot of daydreaming time because we'll never have to wonder if that special person is interested.

the answer is NO!

sorry a.a.

2010-04-09T09:36:00.000-04:00

while i DO love me some winnie the pooh, THIS is hilarious...

yeah, real bad for you.

2010-04-05T13:14:00.002-04:00

kfc's newest sandwich, which really does sound like an april fool's joke, is due out next week. gotta be honest, i would try one. more info, including nutritional facts, can be found at this consumerist article.

eating frogs

2010-03-29T16:00:00.001-04:00

one of the best application's of twain's quote.

Work Smart: Do Your Worst Task First (Or, Eat a Live Frog Every Morning) | Fast Company

putting the awe in...

2010-03-24T15:49:00.001-04:00

i think my favorite is W--"Wolverine Wishing Wonder Woman Wasn't Wasted."

check out the rest @ A to Z of Awesomeness

first state approved gender neutral person

2010-03-23T14:32:00.000-04:00

australia is onto something--hopefully this will catch on other places too.

"THIS Mardi Gras, Norrie received a gift that no other androgynous person in New South Wales has had before.

The night before the parade, the postman brought a certificate from the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages that contained neither the dreaded ''M'' nor its equally despised cousin, ''F''.

Instead, it said ''sex not specified'', making the 48-year-old Sydneysider, who identifies as neuter and uses only a first name, the first in the state to be neither man nor woman in the eyes of the New South Wales government."

i knew it

2010-03-22T11:34:00.001-04:00

somebody did some more research into how effective daylight savings really is. huh, not so much...

http://www.physorg.com/news187946326.html

sigh that feels better

2010-03-19T11:37:00.004-04:00

this just looks like fun, and is relaxing to watch as well.

it was an accident professor

2010-03-12T14:49:00.003-05:00

the associate academic dean sent round a link that does the math on the impossibility of "accidentally" plagiarizing something. absolutely amazing.

why i don't have an iPhone

2010-03-04T20:24:00.002-05:00

not much else to say...

oh si-sEEEeeal-yuh

2010-02-26T08:35:00.002-05:00

awesome

productivity haiku

2010-02-25T11:44:00.002-05:00

i have quickly become a fan of lifehacker. there was a short piece on productivity in 11 words. i took that idea, made some changes, and wrote a personal productivity haiku:

first thing on my list

must be the most important

start in at the top

concise and easy to remember. now, let's see if it helps...

march 21 anyone?

2010-02-17T10:21:00.004-05:00

when you see this, you KNOW it is time for spring to come, dammit

yeeeaahhhhh!!!

2010-02-15T14:21:00.003-05:00

i can't decide if this is super cool, or dumb as rocks. (have to say i am leaning toward the first...)

let it snow (cuz you can't do anything else about it)

2010-02-08T09:41:00.003-05:00

we got about 13" of snow over the weekend, and i found this gif that captures what that looks like in time lapse. we're supposed to get another 6" tonight/tomorrow, and another big dumping next weekend. while i DO like snow, i am ready for spring.

300th post

2010-02-03T21:40:00.003-05:00

in honor of my 300th post, and our excitement for the coming baby in july, i offer the following as a reminder of the right, and wrong, way to care for a baby.

back in the swing of things--life moving forward

2010-01-14T19:59:00.004-05:00

the spring semester has begun. students are back and my schedule is officially wacky. busyness aside, it's great to see students, hearing about their time away, their off-campus programs, the cool stuff they are doing this semester. (it is a cliche that is still true: a college is boring when the students aren't around.) i am excited for new initiatives with students, new connections with colleagues, and new developments in our household.

miles turns 2 years old this month, and i really have no idea where the time has gone. while he talks all the time, his language is his own and we have difficulty understanding him, which he, of course, finds frustrating. however, there have been regular instances of him spouting out words and phrases with obnoxious and appropriate clarity. so, we KNOW he knows what's going on. we KNOW he is aware. and we KNOW he can communicate when he wants to. (and of course, since he will only say something once or twice, it gets our hopes up only to have them regularly dashed.)

on top of all this, it is our newest joy that dana is expecting again and we are due in early july. everything is going well and progressing as it should. and this means she is tired and regularly worn out from the regularly growing parasite within her.

for longtime friends, who thought it would happen once, let alone twice... (and it is awesome)

blog to recommend

2010-01-12T10:35:00.003-05:00

i am a fan of this technology thing. i enjoy the ways in which creates a stage for all sorts of creativity, like the world's largest free form open mic night. in that vein, i highly recommend the blog Sleep Talkin' Man. someone writes down the stuff her husband says when he is sleeping. that's it--hilariously, that's enough.

beware, his sleeping self is a man of strong opinion and language. and is funny as hell, so don't read while eating your morning cereal. (if you get milk coming out your nose don't say i didn't warn you.)

illness roulette

2010-01-06T22:51:00.003-05:00

so, i have known for years that illness can make its way around a household, just spinning from one person to the next and the next and the next. in fact, in the larger families i knew a bug could seemingly spend months mutating and hitting person after person after person. well, in our house the cycle has begun, and it started with the kid, moved to the daddy and has now alit upon the mommy. this thing takes about 2 days to cook, and 2 more days to lay a body out, and 2 final days of general weakness and wooze. so far in the new year someone here has been sick every day. UNfriendly.

AND so, for anytime i even had the smallest inclination to laugh or belittle this totally ass-kickingly annoying experience, i apologize with to the core of my being. can all of you please forgive me?

mea culpa
mea culpa
mea culpa

time keeps on slipping

2010-01-04T08:07:00.003-05:00

it is amazing how quickly days and weeks and months slip on by. i was going to write about fun and funny things Miles does. i was going to write about the goings-on at the Boston Volunteer Fire Dept. i was going to write about all kinds of stuff. ah well.

to begin 2010, Miles rang in the new year by getting sick. nothing says "starting the year off right" quite like a puking child. and then, to prolong the holiday season of giving, he passed his ick along to me. so, i am home sick for the 1st work day of the new year. not a great beginning, but hopefully this is like eating a toad, and everything else will be great from here on out?

anyway, happy new year.

happy halloween

2009-10-31T17:07:00.000-04:00

They Call Me Doctor DIY

2009-10-23T17:07:00.002-04:00

from the nice people at Not Always Right.

Call Center | New Jersey, USA

(We sell dental surgical products and sometimes have to give instructions on their usage. A doctor calls in from the operating room and has me on speakerphone while they’re operating on a patient, who may or may not be under anesthesia.)

Doctor: “The screw is not going in. Which way do I turn it?”

Me: “Clockwise.”

Doctor: “Clockwise from above or below?”

Me: “If you are looking at the head of the screw, then clockwise…to the right.”

Doctor: “What do you mean to the right? Move the wrench to the right?”

Me: “As the screw turns, and you are looking at the head, the top part will go to the right.”

Doctor: “Okay, I think i got it.”

Me: “Good. Righty tighty, lefty loosey.”

Doctor: “What was that?”

Me: “Uh, righty tighty, lefty loosey? That’s one way to remember. You go to the right to tighten, and the left to loosen.”

Doctor: “Oh, I see. Righty tighty, lefty loosey!” *noise of wrench turning* “Righty tighty, lefty loosey. It’s working!”

Me: “Great. All finished?”

(The doctor suddenly speaks up much louder than before. It’s clear they’re not talking to me.)

Doctor: “You’re all done then!”

Patient: *in the distance* “Uh, thank you doctor.”

me next, me next

2009-10-13T13:49:00.001-04:00

yes you should

2009-10-12T13:01:00.002-04:00

comment overhead at the 40k/year college where i work.

"I got a D+ on my paper. Let's see, my prof said... (reading to herself)... yeah, she's right. I do have to start reading the books."

you do have a point there...

2009-09-17T22:20:00.001-04:00

and their point is...?

2009-08-26T08:50:00.003-04:00

i came across the below news item, and found myself conflicted. on the one hand, i understand how these behaviors could be disruptive, but on the other hand this guy is awesome and his ideas are genius! i may have to add a few tricks to my bag.

especially the fitting room bit--that's wile e. coyote super genius.

if only it always worked out this well

2009-08-21T15:00:00.000-04:00

Highway Robbery

Gas Station | Australia

(A customer comes to the gas station register and hands me their credit card immediately.)

Customer: “I was looking at the liters display instead of the price.”

Me: “Yeah, I hate when that happens. Let’s see what your total is.”

Customer: “Well, I shouldn’t have to pay anymore than the $20 I wanted to put in.”

Me: “Sorry, but it doesn’t work like that.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***! I’m just going to drive off! Good luck getting your money!” *drives off without paying*

(I call the police who arrive ten minutes later, which is coincidentally when the customer returns–in his haste to drive off, he had forgotten to take back his credit card.)

Customer: “You stole my credit card, you a**hole!”

Me: “Just give me a second sir. I’m in the middle of reporting a drive-off to these police officers.”

Customer: “Haha! So I’m not the only one to do a drive-off from here?”

Police: “Today you are. Please come with us, sir.”

now THIS is a wedding

2009-07-24T10:08:00.003-04:00

check out this video of a kick-ass processional. (if only more weddings we fun like this...)

honoring sam

2009-07-22T08:49:00.005-04:00

this is sam. he was born too early into a body that couldn't sustain his life or contain his spirit. his 9 days of life were a mixture of beauty and pain. i grieve for him, for his parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and for the world who will only know him through story and photo album.

peace to sam, and all who love him--especially mommy shannon and daddy andy.

ah karma

2009-07-17T14:35:00.001-04:00

Kookie Cookie Karma

Restaurant | New York, USA

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes. What are these?”

Me: “That is a fortune cookie, ma’am.”

Customer: “It doesn’t look like a cookie. Where are the chocolate chips?”

Me: “Ma’am, these are a different kind of cookie. You open them up and they tell your fortune on a piece of paper.”

Customer: “What kind of cookies have paper in them!?”

Me: “Fortune cookies, ma’am.”

Customer: “This is an outrage! Cookies are meant to be eaten, and paper isn’t EATABLE!”

Me: “Please, ma’am, the paper is–”

Customer: “Shut up! I’m leaving.”

(The customer begins to storm out but in her anger misses the door and walks right into the wall. When she finally stumbles out, I open up the fortune cookie and read its message: “Do not worry. You will get what is coming to you in life.”)

my kind of math

2009-07-01T11:54:00.002-04:00

craig damrauer over at newmath is doing some brilliant things with words and arithmetic. this one below fits what work has been like of late.

now this is MY kind of place

2009-06-30T15:58:00.001-04:00

miles dancing

2009-06-27T08:40:00.000-04:00

used the camera on my phone, which is great until i hold it on its side. so, turn you head to the right and push play.

in memoriam

2009-06-26T08:51:00.000-04:00

just keep her away from me

2009-06-24T08:14:00.001-04:00

I Shall Call Them…Mini-Mes

Home Improvement | New Hampshire, USA

Customer: *whispers* “Could I have six…no, make that eight ladybugs please?”

Me: “You only need eight ladybugs? Or eight boxes? We sell them in boxes of one hundred.”

Customer: “Yes, just eight individual ladybugs. And could you please keep your voice down?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t open a box to give you just eight. The rest would all fly away.”

Customer: “Well, then I’ll take a box. ”

(I ring her up and she takes the box of ladybugs over to one of our picnic tables. She takes one ladybug, whispers to it and then flings it into the air.)

Customer: “HEAR MY WORDS AND DO MY BIDDING!”

(After several more ladybugs have been released she brings the box back over.)

Customer: “I’m not going to need the rest of these. You can keep them here.”

Me: “Ma’am, can I ask what you asked those ladybugs to do for you?”

Customer: “Well, ladybugs eat other bugs, which means they’re meat eaters! So I gave them the names and addresses of people I hate. That way, they can get a swarm of them and attack! If they eat meat then it’s just a matter of time before a whole bunch of them will eat a whole person!”

humane fly catcher?

2009-06-18T14:40:00.002-04:00

i find the following story intriguing, particularly as we stave off economic depression, fight war in two countries and try to figure out what to do with foreign combatants in guantanamo bay, just to name a few pressing issues. not that PETA is known for its sense of balance, just seems a bit small-minded let's say.
___________

PETA Says No More Fly-Killing, Sends Obama a Humane Fly Catcher

June 17, 2009 10:55 PM

ABC News' Sunlen Miller reports:

PETA has a few words for President Obama: Brush, don’t kill.

After the President very publically swatted and then killed a fly during an interview with CNBC yesterday, the outspoken animal rights group PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) said they wished Obama had served a better example.

“We support compassion for the even the smallest animals," says Bruce Friedrich, VP for Policy at PETA. “We support giving insects the benefit of the doubt."

Friedrich says PETA supports "brushing flies away rather than killing them" and was disappointed that the President had gone ahead and squashed the pesky fly.

This afternoon PETA sent a Katcha Bug, a device which traps bugs and allows their safe release back into nature to the White House.

PETA hopes the President will use the catcher but has no far not received communication back from the White House, although they did not ask for specific correspondence.

Friedrich admits that despite his fly-swatting ways, the President has been a champion for animal rights in the past. PETA claims to be pleased by Obama’s denouncement of factory farming, Canadian seal hunting andMichelle Obama’s stance against wearing fur.

even more

2009-06-16T14:14:00.000-04:00

Vocabulary, Meet Veracity

Day Care | Los Angeles, CA, USA

(I work at a daycare center and am teaching a room full of two year-old children to memorize their parents’ or guardians’ names and home phone numbers.)

Me: “So, what’s your daddy’s name?”

Little girl: “Robert!”

Me: “And what’s your mommy’s name?”

Little girl: “Dammitjulia!”

(Needless to say, “Robert” had a little talking-to when he came to pick up his daughter.)

more not always right

2009-06-15T14:09:00.000-04:00

For Everything Else, There’s TasterCard

Gift Shop | United Kingdom

Me: “That’s £26.50, please.”

Customer: “Can I pay by card?”

Me: “Sure. Please enter your card into the machine, and then put in your pin code.”

Customer: “Right, are these machines waterproof?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

Customer: “I wouldn’t get an electric shock from one, would I?”

Me: “Err, no?”

(Suddenly, the customer bends his head down and uses his mouth to cover up the keys. He then uses his tongue to try and push down the numbers of his pin code.)

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to stop! That’s incredibly unhygenic.”

Customer: “But it’s the only way to keep it safe!”

Me: “Have you considered covering the keys with your hand instead of your mouth?”

Customer: “Yes, but it’s not as safe!”

Me: “I’m afraid we’re just going to have to risk that. We can’t have you licking our machines.”

Customer: “Bah!”

i can't brain today...

2009-06-09T10:05:00.000-04:00

what is the world coming to?

2009-06-02T11:46:00.002-04:00

today's new story comes to us from austin texas.

Grandmother Tasered at Traffic Stop

Monday, 01 Jun 2009, 9:13 AM CDT

A 72-year-old woman is pulled over for speeding, then tasered and sent to jail. Kathryn Winkfein says she drives to Austin about twice a month to do her shopping. But on a Monday afternoon, a Travis County Constable deputy pulled her over, on her way back to Granite Schoals.

"Due to being a construction zone, and workers being present," Pct. 3 Constable Richard McCain said, "it was 45, she was doing 60."

Winkfein admits she was speeding in the dangerous strip of Highway 71 and Bee Creek.

"He explained to her," Constable McCain said, "sign the ticket stub, it's not an admission of guilt. It's a promise to appear in court. She didn't want to. She said take me to jail."

That's when the officer says Winkfein exited her vehicle and didn't cooperate.

"She refused to get off the side of the road, he said to her, Ma'am, you're under arrest. She used profanity," the Constable said. He adds she got violent, and the officer used a taser on her.

Winkfein showed FOX 7 her taser scars.

"Here and here. Two places, side by side. It's unreal. It's like an electric shock," she said.

A shock Winkfein believes she didn't deserve.

"I wasn't argumentative, I was not combative. This is a lie. All of this is a lie, pulled away from him I did not," she said, reading the arrest affidavit.

The great-grandmother was taken to the Travis County Jail, where she was booked for resisting arrest and detention. She was released shortly after. Now, Winkfein has hired attorneys to protect her rights.

When asked if it was appropriate for the arresting officer to have used a taser, Constable McCain answered yes.

a gulp of cormorants

2009-05-21T10:17:00.001-04:00

the best list of animal grouping names yet. thank you san diego zoo. ( i love that place)

alligators: congregation
antelope: herd
ants: nest, army, colony, swarm
apes: troop, shrewdness
asses: pace, herd, drove
baboons: troop
badgers: cete
bears: sloth, sleuth
beavers: family, colony
bees: grist, swarm, nest, hive
boars: sounder, singular
buffalo: herd, troop, gang, obstinancy
butterflies: flutter
buzzards: wake
camels: train, caravan, flock
caribou: herd
cats: clowder, cluster, glaring, pounce
caterpillars: army
cattle: drove, herd
chickens: brood, peep
cockroaches: intrusion
cormorants: gulp
cows: kine
crocodiles: bask, float
crows: murder
deer: herd
dogs: pack
doves: arc, dule, flight, pitying
ducks: paddling, flock, raft
eagles: aerie, convocation
eels: bed, swarm
elephants: herd, memory
elks: gang, herd
emus: mob
ferrets: business
finches: charm
fish: school, shoal, haul, catch
flamingos: stand, flamboyance
flies: swarm, cloud, business
foxes: leash, skulk, troop
frogs: army
geese: gaggle, skein
giraffes: herd, corps, tower
gnats: swarm, cloud, horde
goats: flock, herd, tribe, trip
goldfish: troubling
gorillas: band, troop
grasshoppers: cloud
gulls: colony
hares: down, husk
hawks: boil, cast, kettle
herons: sedge, siege
hippos: bloat
horses: herd, band, string, team, stable
hounds: mute, brace, pack
hyenas: cackle
jays: band, party, scold
jellyfish: smack, brood
kangaroo: mob, herd, troop
larks: exaltation
leopards: leap
lions: pride
lizards: lounge
mice: nest
moles: labor
monkeys: barrel
moose: herd
mules: barren, span
otters: romp
oxen: team, yoke, drove
owls: parliament
oysters: bed
parrots: company, pandemonium
peacocks: ostentation, pride
pelicans: pod
penguins: rookery, colony
pheasants: bouquet, nye
pigs: drift, drove, sounder
porcupines: prickle
porpoises: school, crowd, shoal
prairie dogs: coterie
quail: bevy, covey
rabbits: nest, warren
raccoons: gaze
rattlesnakes: rhumba
ravens: unkindness
rhinoceroses: crash
sardines: family
seabirds: wreck
seals: pod, rookery
sharks: school, shoal
sheep: flock, pack, hurtle
snakes: bed, knot, den, pit
sparrows: host
spiders: clutter
squirrels: dray, scurry
starlings: chattering, murmuration
storks: mustering
swallows: flight
swans: bevy, herd, bank, wedge, flight
swine: sounder, drift, herd
tigers: ambush, streak
toads: nest, knot
trout: hover
turkeys: rafter
turtles: bale, dole
walruses: pod, herd
weasels: pack, colony
whales: school, pod, mob, gam
wolves: pack, rout
wombats: wisdom
woodpeckers: descent
zebras: herd, zeal

so THAT's where it was...

2009-05-19T14:54:00.001-04:00

scientists misplaced the evolutionary link from primates to humans for nearly 200 years. it seems they finally found it.

awesomer than awesome

2009-05-08T11:56:00.003-04:00

the more i look at this it just gets cooler and cooler.

better than tinyurl

2009-04-29T09:46:00.002-04:00

i am a big fan of using tinyurl to shrink long web addresses. well now there is a new, cultural version: dickensurl. instead of creating a meaningless, albeit shortened, mix of numbers and letters, it uses lines of text from charles dickens' works. a perfect mixture of pretense and geek.

it makes me curious which url generator will be next. i predict it will be one of the following:

holybibleurl
buffythevampireslayerurl
bushismsurl (although this might be a bit passe...)

the toy society

2009-02-27T16:02:00.003-05:00

so, i am sitting here at work trying not cry. i came across the toy society and have done nothing for the last half hour but read moving stories and look at pictures of people and their found toys. check them out and think about joining up--all it takes is some time, creativity and loving generosity.

awesome.

there's going to be beer right?

2009-02-24T13:30:00.001-05:00

my new favorite picture.

look left

2009-02-10T10:51:00.002-05:00

no, it's not a response to pres obama's 1st press conference, nor his comments regarding the fiscal irresponsibility of the past 8 years. it's my new slide show. yup, right below my ugly mug will be a slide show of images from my flickr page. if you click on a particular image it will open it in a new window. wahoo.

more fun from not always right

2009-02-04T14:18:00.002-05:00

from those smart folk at not always right.

Picky Python

Grocery Store | Indiana, USA

(A lady comes in with an 8-foot boa constrictor draped over her shoulders.)

Customer: “Where is your cookie aisle?”

Me: “No! No! No! You cannot bring that in here. You have to leave.”

Customer: “Why? He won’t hurt you.”

Me: “I’m terrified of snakes for one, and also, it’s a health code violation.”

Customer: *walking closer to me, as I slowly back away* “That’s crazy! I’m not leaving, and you can’t make me. Plus, he’s not on the floor or touching anything in the store, so how can it be a health code violation? Now, where are the cookies?”

Me: “It’s a health code violation because no animals are allowed in a store where food is served, unless they’re service animals, and that’s not a service animal.”

Customer: “You’re crazy!”

Me: *calling to manager* “Can you please come out here, NOW?!”

Manager: *walking over* I’m sorry ma’am, you’re going to have to take the snake outside. You can come back in only if you get rid of it.”

Customer: “I’m not leaving the snake outside; I’m going to get the cookies.”

Manager: “Ma’am, you’re terrifying my employees and customers, and it’s a huge health code violation. If you would like, you can tell me what kind of cookies you’d like and hand me your money, and I’ll go get them for you.

Customer: “I’m afraid that’s not going to work either. My snake here likes to pick out his own cookies.”

Me: “…”

Manager: “Then I’m afraid we can’t help you and you must leave.”

Customer: “I’m going across the street, and telling the police station you won’t let me shop with the snake. This is an outrage, and this isn’t the last you’ve heard of me!”

(We never saw her again.)

it's like you wrote it yourself

2009-02-03T15:01:00.002-05:00

amazing. absolutely amazing. go to yourfonts.com to create a font from your own handwriting. (i guess it could be someone else's handwriting, for that matter) now folks who know my handwriting can tell you it's no great shakes, but to see it in a document, or printed, it looks arty and deep in its soul-aching coolness. in fact, it looks a lot like this:

do they pay their pastor?

2009-01-30T14:46:00.002-05:00

came across this story. you can read it here, or the highlights below.

seen a local chain restaurant. A group of six church-goers came in last night after their evening services and sat down. When the girl came to greet them and take their drink order, one of them said, "We want to tell you up front that we will not be tipping you tonight because we do not believe in people working on Sunday."

The girl was taken full-aback, stammered out something that sounded like "I wouldn't have to work on Sunday if so many church people didn't come in," or some such. She was furious. So was the manager of the restaurant whom she summoned to deal with them. I think he should have tossed the people out on their...uh...Bibles. To his credit, and demonstrating something like agape all around, he did say to them, "Well, we don't believe in making our people work for nothing, so I will be serving you tonight." And he did. God bless him.

there are clearly enough problems with the above, but the 1st and last place for me is the deep hypocrisy of choosing to patron a place on a sunday, therefore requiring someone to work on a sunday. if they are so opposed to the notion, they should cook their own food, brown bag it to church and have a goddam picnic and not spread their holier-than-thou judgment around their local chain restaurants. or maybe they should offer to give part of their tithe to the folks who work at this restaurant, releasing them to take sunday off? anything other than sitting in their self-righteousness, passing judgment AND coming out a total of $4 ahead. (cuz it's hard to take someone's faith seriously when it just seems like they are being cheap)

asinine, no-good, plank-eyed vangies, giving a bad name to good people struggling to live faithfully in a complex world.

not sure i need this, but you never know...

2009-01-28T16:15:00.002-05:00

i know that ipod applications are often creative and display great problem solving. but i have to say that this application, created for snipers, has got to be the coolest / scariest one i have heard of yet.

now if they could make one for optimizing the grill-mounted machine guns on my truck...

in memory of grandpa bob

2009-01-17T12:09:00.002-05:00

great grandpa
Originally uploaded by el_fantastico

got a call last night that my only living grandfather passed away last night. he has been ill a long time and this has been expected. i haven't been in good or regular contact with him for a number of years. in fact, when last i saw him this summer it took him a bit to recognize me--that was hard.

looking back i am full of memories: the roughness of his carpenter's hands; the way he smelled of sawdust and cigarettes; the way he drove everywhere way to fast; the stories he told over and over again about life on the farm; and all his flannel shirts.

here is the last picture i have of him. rest in peace and grace grandpa bob.

love those local news roundups

2009-01-06T08:54:00.002-05:00

pay particular attention to the bottom entry.

not always right

2008-12-18T13:12:00.003-05:00

my new favorite website is a collection of stories about dumb customers. the following nearly sent me to the floor laughing.

(I work at the photo department and am checking out a customer with a “Happy Birthday, Grand Son!” birthday card.)

Customer: “Hello… I only have this one birthday card.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $3.15. I just need your signature on the line, please.”

(The customer begins to sign her receipt, then pauses. She looks closely at the slip, then looks up at me, angry.)

Customer: “Now how does this know who I am?!”

Me: “… excuse me?”

Customer: “It has my name on it! Right here, below the line! I have never shopped here before. Where did you get my information?”

Me: “Ma’am, the information comes from your credit card.”

Customer: “Well!”

(She signs the slip and gives it to me. I put the slip in the register drawer.)

Customer: “And what are you doing with that? It has my information on it. You can’t just keep it!”

Me: “Umm, we have to keep it. That’s how you pay for things…” *register prompts for a zip code* “… and may I get your zip code, please?”

Customer: “Why do you need my address?!”

Me: “Well, American Express needs it. It’s a security measure. And it doesn’t need your whole address, just the zip code.”

Customer: “This is identity theft! Give me back my signature!”

Me: “Um, I promise you, I am not. And I can’t open the drawer mid-transaction, but I can call a manager to cancel your transaction.”

Customer: “You aren’t a cashier! How do I even know you work here?!”"

Me: “Well, here’s my name tag. And my picture is on the wall.”

Customer: “If you work in the photo department, that could be photoshopped! You do not work here! I want a manager!”

Me: “Umm, okay…” *calls manager*

Manager: “What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “This thief is stealing my personal identity!”

Manager: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I want my signature back! She is asking too many questions!”

Manager: “Okay, I will take it from here. So what is your zip code?”

(My manager takes care of the rest of the transaction. The receipt then prints out…)

Manager: “Here you go! Tell your grandson to have a happy birthday!”

Customer: “AND HOW DO YOU KNOW MY GRAND SON!? YOU PEOPLE STOP AT NOTHING! I AM REPORTING YOU! THIS IS ILLEGAL!” *continues yelling all the way out the door*

2 working guys

2008-12-11T13:46:00.000-05:00

as a balance to yesterday's story about david, i offer this one. john was unloading a truck of gravel into their driveway, and his son kai was sitting on top of the gravel pile. for every one of john's shovels, kai threw a few handfuls out.

"dad, do you know what we are?"

"no kai, what are we?"

"two working guys."

about 10 minutes later kai got tired of throwing the gravel and leaned back on the pile to watch john.

"dad, do you know what we are now?'

"no kai, what are we now"

"one working guy, one guy on break"